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“No disability can stop you from achieving your dreams if you have a positive mindset”

The word ‘CODA’ might ring a bell among those who have watched the 2021 Oscar-winning Hollywood movie of the same name. Children of Deaf Adults have unique challenges, which were experienced by the twins Nitesh and Sonia who were born to Deaf parents Sangeeta and Rakesh Sharma.
 
This couple had the reverse problem when they were growing up: Deaf children in Hearing families. While Rakesh was born Deaf-Mute, Sangeeta could articulate a few words and used a hearing aid till she was 15. Both she and her two Deaf brothers felt out of place in a home filled with noise; their loving parents did not know how to communicate with them. Rakesh had three younger Hearing siblings. Their father died early on and Rakesh became the breadwinner, selling chana (chickpeas) and balloons.
 
Rakesh and Sangeeta were both students of the Lions Club School for Deaf and Dumb where they studied till grade 10. Sangeeta used to also get speech therapy from their teacher (‘master-ji’) who was instrumental in bringing them together when she reached a marriageable age. Her mother had asked master-ji to recommend a bridegroom who had a government job and he referred her to Rakesh, who was working in the stationery department of the Chandigarh Administration. That they were from different castes didn’t matter when they were united by a common language: Sign.
 
In 1987 they got married, and Nitesh and Sonia were born a year later. To supplement the family income, Rakesh started stitching clothes after office hours while Sangeeta ran a beauty parlour from home. Today Rakesh (61) and Sangeeta (58) live with Nitesh and his wife Sheetal. Nitesh recalled his childhood, when his grandparents used to live with them. He said he used to feel embarrassed by his parents’ deafness and, fearing ridicule, did not reveal this fact to his friends. His grandmother attended the parent-teacher meetings in school. The twins did not know Indian Sign Language (ISL) and therefore felt disconnected from their parents.
 
It took many years – when they were in 10th grade, in fact – before understanding replaced shame, and Nitesh and Sonia decided to step into their parents’ world. They attended seminars by the National Association of the Deaf (NAD) and learnt ISL. In 2005, Sonia started interpreting for her parents during family shopping trips and later at formal events organised by the NAD. Nitesh followed in 2008, working with the Department of Social Welfare, Chandigarh as an ISL interpreter. Sonia did her Masters in Computer Application and got married in 2015.
 
Nitesh taught at Asha Kiran vocational training centre for disabled children. In 2017 he quit to move to Delhi and do a diploma in ISL from a college certified by the Rehabilitation Council of India (RCI), securing second rank in his batch of 52 students. He used to go home over the weekends while his students from Asha Kiran, Sunil and Mehtab, took care of his parents, providing interpretational help wherever and whenever they needed it. Nitesh says while he was in Delhi he used to worry about his parents until his teacher Sachin-sir, whom he considered his guru, taught him a valuable lesson. He said, “If you give them too much support in the name of care, you will stop their growth and make them dependent on you.” This gave him the confidence to take up a job in Dubai as an assistant to a Deaf manager.
 
‘Dependent’ is not a word you would use to describe the couple. Rakesh is more reserved by nature and has few Deaf friends, but Sangeeta is outgoing and active in the Deaf community. During the Covid-19 pandemic she took the initiative to form an NGO, Sangeeta Hands and Eyes (SHE) Foundation, along with her childhood friend Anu Saigal and her brother Vikas Jain, both of whom have deafness. (She is the Foundation’s president, Anu, the treasurer, and Vikas, the secretary.) They were able to support 500 underprivileged families with packets of food, using funds donated by the Deaf community.
 
She Foundation has been popularising ISL among the Hearing. It believes that educating the educators and public servants can help make life accessible for the Deaf; it has trained 500 public prosecutors so far. Nitesh also pitched in to give the Foundation a headstart and went back to working for Asha Kiran in 2021. He says, “Not only family members should learn to Sign. Everyone must learn ISL to close the gap between the Deaf and the Hearing and create a more inclusive society.”
 
Nitesh took his own time to find a life partner as he wanted to find someone who understood disability. In 2024 he married Sheetal Negi, a special coach for intellectually disabled children who works as an Area Director for Special Olympics Bharat. Her empathy and support have endeared her to both Rakesh and Sangeeta. Speaking of his parents’ habits, Nitesh says, “They enjoy having their tea together – morning and evening. Even today they fight with each other and it is usually my father who takes the first step to make up after the fight!”
 
Rakesh and Sangeeta sent us a brief video clip each, with their special message to society. She said: “People need to understand that no disability can stop you from achieving your dreams when you have a positive mindset.” He said: “Today is a gift from God Almighty. Don’t be in tension about tomorrow. Enjoy each and every moment.”
 
Nitesh rightly says: “The Deaf-Mute can communicate well with one another. The communication barrier is actually on the part of the Hearing community. They should make an effort to break this barrier by learning sign language.”