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“Many people don’t have trust in our ability. They only see our disability”

Even before four-month-old Jaedon Otis D. Sangma starts speaking he might start learning a language. It is the language that his parents, who’re from different tribes and religions, have in common: Indian Sign Language (ISL).
 
Jasmine D. Sangma (35) is a Garo A-chik from the town of Tura in West Garo Hills. Banjoplang Nongsiej (35) is from Shillong in East Khasi Hills. The ‘East-West encounter’ happened they were working together on Meghalaya’s first Sign Language dictionary. Their friendship blossomed into a deeper relationship and they tied the knot in 2022. In June this year they received their “precious gift from God” as Jasmine describes Jaedon’s birth. “He will learn both Sign and speech,” she texts us. “We will teach him Sign so he can communicate with us and other hearing impaired people.”
 
Jasmine and her three siblings were brought up primarily by their mother because their father was in the Border Security Force in Kashmir and came home on leave only once a year. Jasmine studied in the mainstream St Mary’s Higher Secondary School in Tura and it was when she reached Class 8 that she contracted a mysterious illness that gradually robbed her of her hearing. Although her parents tried all kinds of treatments, nothing worked.
 
Her schoolteachers were kind and understanding but there were a few pupils who mocked her. She followed her mother’s advice and remained silent, refusing to be provoked, but it made her reluctant to take part in co-curricular activities. Society was no better: people used to humiliate her and although she pretended not to notice she would go home and cry. “I lifted up my pain to God. Praying gave me consolation,” she says. “My mother taught me to persevere and never give up.”
 
After passing her SSLC Jasmine joined Tura Government College and completed her B.A. “I faced many challenges in college,” she says. “No one could communicate with me; I didn’t know any interpreters, and I used to read and understand the lessons on my own.” She went on to complete her M.A. English in 2012 from North Eastern Hill University in Shillong. She did her B.Ed from Sarada College of Education in Andhra Pradesh, and in 2014, started working as a teacher in the Montfort Centre for Education, an inclusive school for children with disabilities.
 
All this while, Jasmine had been communicating with her family by lip-reading and didn’t know there was such a thing as ISL. “The then principal of the Montfort school Brother K.J. Jose gave me the opportunity to learn ISL and broadened my career prospects,” she says. “I started teaching hearing impaired students in Sign and I even taught the hearing children, handling around 54 students in a classroom.” She began to accept her disability when she saw kids being happy despite their impairment. Her proudest moment was in 2019 when she was awarded ‘best in education’ by the Commissioner of Persons with Disabilities, Meghalaya.
 
Banjoplang was born and brought up in Shillong, the middle child among three boys. His parents accepted his condition and he was brought up under their warm and loving care. His late mother was a college lecturer in mathematics. He did his B.Tech from Kalasingalam University, Tamil Nadu and now has an office job as a Data Entry Operator.
 
Jasmine took a break from work to have the baby and now she is busy caring for him. When the couple spend time together they watch movies or cook dishes like the local chicken kapa (chicken cooked with soda or alkali) and rice cooked with pork and ground black sesame. Her favourite filmstars are Aamir Khan, Jugal Hansraj, Karishma Kapoor and Bhagyashree, and her favourite movie, ‘Koi Mil Gaya’. “Society thinks that people with disabilities are not fit to have their own family,” she says. Talking about the prevailing prejudices about the disabled, she says, “If society is open-minded, we the Persons with Disabilities (PwD) will not face any difficulties.” Strong support and understanding is vital, she says, and in this respect the couple have been fortunate. Jasmine says that besides her own family’s support, including her sister Salchume who has encouraged her in everything she does, she also has her in-laws’ backing.
 
Jasmine points out the challenges that PwD face when going out for hospital check-ups, or to banks and important offices to get their work done. “In most of the offices or hospitals there are no interpreters to help us unless we call for one,” she says. “But what do we do in times of emergency? The family has to be there or we have to manage on our own. So whenever I go for some work I use pen and paper.”
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⁠Her message to PwD is: “Whenever you face problems, whatever they may be, just go solve them. We cannot force society to understand us; if they don’t accept us, take it as human nature. Never give up, live your best life and leave all your woes in God’s hands, as prayer is the strongest weapon we have.”